By Kate Wood from The Knot
Before you read this I want you to know that I did abbreviate her article a little and added a few remarks, but overall this is written by Kate and she has GREAT ADVICE!!
Doing Anything…Before the Guest List
The problem: You’re engaged! You’re excited! You’re ready to send out save-the-dates, book that reception hall, and choose your flowers— now! Well hang on a second, because we’re afraid you’re forgetting something. Who’s coming to this affair, exactly?
The solution: You shouldn’t make any decisions before you have your wedding guest list somewhat firmly in place. Why, you ask? Well, do you want to have a nonrefundable deposit down on that cozy restaurant room that fits 75 when you finally get your official list together and it’s closer to 150? Think about what kind of atmosphere you’d like for your wedding. Do you want an intimate, close friends and family-only affair, or do you want to throw the event of the season for 300-plus people? Then make your official list, THEN book your reception location.
The problem: Look, we know it’s not the Stone Age, and there are plenty of guys out there who want to see their wedding as an event that reflects their style too (or at least one that’s NOT dripping with pink froufrou). But there’s likely to be a limit to your fiance’s ability to cope with an infinite array of wedding choices.
The solution: Here’s how to defuse a potentially sticky situation (and a minefield of fights you don’t want to have). Take a night OFF and save his sanity (and yours) by designating one night a week as wedding-free. Talk about the weather, your friends, the dog — whatever you want. Then on the other days figure out what he wants or envisions for the wedding and what details he is interested in and keep him in the loop on those aspects, as for everything else give him the abbreviated version.
The problem: These days, to-be-weds spend so much time personalizing their weddings and trying to find really unique big-day details that it does seem reasonable to freak if another couple chooses the same favors or flowers or food. Before you decide to arm-wrestle for it, let us suggest a different way of dealing with this problem before it even becomes a problem.
The solution: If someone else steals one of your ideas, you’ll probably hear a lot of imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but- If you don’t/didn’t divulge every last big-day detail, you won’t have to worry about your bride friends snatching them. Only tell those who you know won’t divulge all your details especially since you want some left to surprise.
The problem: When you started planning your wedding, you knew just what you wanted, but now that you’ve been hard at work for a few months, you have changed your mind.
The solution: A good rule of thumb is that if you’ve already signed a contract or seen a proof, you will have to pay extra for any changes or additions you make. Although if it’s still relatively early in your planning process, don’t be afraid to make the change. But if it is too late remember, you’re getting married to your husband, not your centerpieces.
The problem: You’ve found the wedding dress of your dreams — though it’s not exactly a perfect fit on the real-life you. Your plan: Order the dress two sizes too small, and then do whatever it takes to make it fit. Or so you think.
The solution: Making a commitment to eat right and exercise is great, but crash-dieting and chaining yourself to the StairMaster is a course likely to end in disaster — and a gown that doesn’t fit.
Instead of losing more sleep than weight, find a gown you love and order it in your current size. If you want to work on your body during your engagement, that’s great — go ahead, but be sure to make your goals are manageable (toning up but not dropping 20 pounds, for instance). You’re more likely to stick with a routine that doesn’t require superhuman willpower. And if you still find that you are freaking about your figure, just remember that you’re about to get hitched to someone who can’t get enough of the way you look (really, truly) right now.
If you do drop some weight, this slow-and-steady approach will help you big time (and help you keep it off long-term). You’ll want to lose those extra pounds before your second fitting — any big changes after that, and though you might be lighter, your alterations bill will be pretty hefty. Your final fitting should be for last-minute tweaks, not a total overhaul.
The problem: We love nothing better than seeing the clever projects that couples come up with to make their weddings unique. But even we have to draw the line somewhere. There’s doing it yourself, and then there’s overdoing it yourself.
The solution: Rather than taking on too many projects, pick the one (or two) that you’re really in love with and put your resources (both mental and monetary) into working on those. For the others, do a little research and try to find a ready-made version that makes you happy. With so many great prefab goodies out there especially on Etsy— this will save you a whole lot of time!
The problem: So you can’t do it all yourself — fine — but you’ve got to have someone you trust double-checking with the caterer and the florist, steaming your veil, or making sure the limo company’s got directions. Most brides turn to good ol’ Mom (or their sister or their maid of honor) to make sure things go as planned on the big day. These folks are usually happy to help in any way they can — but hey, didn’t they come here to party too?
The solution: No matter how worried you are, most wedding-day (and day-before) chores can be trusted to any competent adult, and aren’t there a slew of them coming into town just for your wedding? Before you hand your mom or MOH a mega-task list, consider splitting jobs among a larger group of people — friends, cousins, aunts. They’ll be glad to lend a hand (and likely flattered that you asked), and it’s a great way to include more people in your celebration. If you’re worried about losing track, simply take the to-do list you already have and note who’s who next to each task. Check in with each person at some point, and then check off the chore from the list.
Another option: Hire a wedding coordinator for the final weeks before the wedding. They’re experts at making sure those last-minute details get done, and having the extra hands around will help you (and mom) decide what you really want to be in charge of and what you can happily hand off. It’s more affordable than you might think — and really, can you put a price tag on alleviating that kind of stress?
The problem: The place cards just came back from the printer, and the color of the ink is a little off from the print on your invites. Or the best man’s boutonniere has a hint of baby’s breath where you’d specified berries. Let’s face it, even the most perfectly planned wedding is sure to hit a few bumps along the way.
The solution: When you’ve worked so hard for so many months on your wedding-day details, it can be hard to deal when you find a flaw among them. The key is that when you spot one, you’ll need to take a deep breath and think: How important is this going to be to me in a year? Not in 10 years, not even in five, but in one. Chances are most mishaps that are causing you so much agitation won’t really matter to you once you’re at your wedding (let alone after it). If it’s a serious snarl, go ahead and deal with it. But if it’s a minor mess-up, just move on. You can’t give up all of your resources to every little crisis. Pick your battles wisely and they will be better fought.
The problem: You came up with a number. You did some research. You revised the number. You started planning … and now that number’s not going to cut it. Budgeting for a wedding can be the stuff of nuptial nightmares — but that doesn’t mean you should elope.
The solution: If you find you’ve underestimated some expenses, don’t panic. Instead, sit down with your fiancé and try to reach a constructive solution. Maybe you can give up an item or trade one for another (for example, dahlias over Black Magic roses saves about $4 per stem).
The problem: Right now, it might seem weird to have a basic sketch of your seating plan or all of your favors tagged and ready to go. But other than taking up a little extra space in your closet, they’re not causing any harm — and they will actually save you a ton of stress a month or two down the line. The closer the wedding gets, the busier you’ll be, so making (and sticking to) your timeline is essential.
The solution: Worried you’re jumping ahead on the wedding planning timeline? Don’t be. You’re in the best possible situation. If you’re set on saving tasks until the appointed time (rather than going ahead and doing a little of this or that when you’ve got the time), you may wind up with way too much to accomplish in the last month (or week) before the wedding. That’s exactly the time when anything (and everything) can happen, when everyone will have demands on your time, and you’ll — well, you’ll just want to take a hot bath and dream about your honeymoon. With check marks beside all your biggest to-dos, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy your wedding — and the days leading up to it. Make no mistake about it.
I LOVE CHECK LISTS!! Kate has given so many helpful tips in this article and I have added it to my document files. If you would like to hire me as your wedding coordinator I can help you with timeline, budgets, checklists, decor, and many more logistical details. Give me a ring or email me <3
I LOVE CHECK LISTS!! Kate has given so many helpful tips in this article and I have added it to my document files. If you would like to hire me as your wedding coordinator I can help you with timeline, budgets, checklists, decor, and many more logistical details. Give me a ring or email me <3
Hello, neighbor...{we're in ATL}
ReplyDeletethese are such great tips!! I especially LOVE #4!!
xo, chrissy from the perfect palette.
Such a fabulous list :) number 10 is AWESOME. So awesome.
ReplyDelete